Shady trees spoke to me on this winter encrusted night, whispering tales of serenity and a life of happiness. The foreboding secrets gust through the night’s air as if the trees ungodly swaying had conjured these lies for one purpose - to pierce my soul with the pantheon of life.
My eyes deepen into a watery glaze of emotional turmoil and indecision.
I look into the night sky, a universe of love and fiction.
Has it come to this?
My mortal body and the chilling night air infuse in marriage - my form of love.
Grey matter hazily clouding the earth with deceit and childish fables - the only form of love.
As I walk deeper into the dark, waning night my thoughts envelop me. I question the imperfect entity; that unrelenting demon. “Why god? Why me? What the fuck did I do to deserve this?”
The botched, tarnished snow mocks me as I tread into the unknown.
My thoughts begin to subside, an icy altercation encircles my constitution. Spiraling through the vapors of despair, my only choice is to consent - give in to the extortion and subjection. I am there, almost to the point of no return. Deeper into the only thing I have ever known, that relentless, remorse and rigor of burning misery.
But I am saved.
No longer do I blame the unknown forces of an irrational planet. My eyes widen, taking in the vastness of life. Thoughts of euphoria and the subtle throbbing of hope revitalize my body. My mind calms. I slunk into my humble bed, ignorant of the great clamor made by my moment of insight. Before drifting into the unconscious unknown, ideation takes place one last time. The thought reaches the surface within my sea of consciousness.
“We are only ever scared of what we don’t know.”