To that person in the park…in the cafe….in the bar….to that “normal” person out there.
When you speak, there is nothing of sustenance.
You speak for the affectation of hearing noise, knowing that I will have to attend to that noise as it continuously clatters and blares across my face. The idea of “conversation” with another being is your childhood dream. You cherish and clutch to the attention as though you’ve never connected with another person before me. You find it invigorating and appetizing that someone will listen to your mindless stories and reply with a smile.
But this is not “conversation”. This is noise; the egotistical brother of conversation who continuously belittles his sibling and strives for false attention. What you seek is the idea of conversation. By this, I mean to say that your imagination has brought you to an artificial paradise; a place in which you go to feel as though you are in the movies – in the ‘happily ever after’. This is a phony state of happiness. It’s just noise.
Next time, seek to indulge in the wonders of the unknown. Converse through the bewildering merriment of imagination. Entertain ideas that are slightly impractical. Discuss the issues that have affected you directly and question the past/future. Smile and laugh because the content of conversation is puzzling and exciting, not for the sheer verity of the social situation or diffusing the “awkwardness” that silence presents. Just be natural. Be yourself. Let your mind flow like the rivers and streams in nature – a natural event.
Stop stepping onto the stage for the next act. Quit the bullshit. Use your brain. Use your mind. Speak with thought, not voice.
I fucking hate listening to your noise.